Hatred of one distant man or woman always seeps into closer relationships. It is not an isolated hatred. Why? Hatred is practiced hatred. Anything we do more than once is something we practice- we get better at it over time. Certainly, I have hated more than once. I’ve gotten pretty good at it. And I’ve found that as I hate those far away, over time, the distance of those who fit in my hate filter slowly seeps in closer and closer. 

Hatred is sneaky and easy. Think about it. Don’t we all know that feeling of spewing some malice toward another and then realizing, oh that’s inside me? Practiced resentment and dismissal is easy, because it’s often the path of least emotional resistance. Anger is usually a place we sink into, like sinking into a comfy couch cushion. We may not even realize it is happening. Every time we read the news, go on social media, drive by political signs, talk about divisive issues amongst agreeing friends, is an opportunity to practice hatred, resentment, and dismissal. 

In addition to our hatred seeping in closer, it also spreads out. As soon as we hate one far away, many more who have slight resemblances of the hated one begin to fill our hate filters. Before long there are whole groups, “homogenous” peoples, that we hate. These are the recipes of ageism, marginalization, racism, mass genocide. These are also the recipes for hating those closest to us. 

I am finding it is a good practice to learn how to love those who are distant from me. Then I may learn a renewed love for those closest to me. And when I say love, I don’t mean good thoughts and intentions. I mean the painful stuff. The stuff that hurts deep. The stuff that feels humiliating, like you want to yell and instead you cry, like you want to punch and instead you take the punch, like you want to dismiss and instead you take a shaky deep breath and lean in. It should hurt. It might not be love if it doesn’t hurt a little. But, if we are to claim to be worthy of love, this is the only possible response. For Christian readers, if we are to claim to be the blessed people of God, this is the only possible response.